So you let this guy crash at your pad while you’re outta town and he decides it might be alright to have a couple of his buddies over for cribbage and leap frog and whatnot. They get into your unmentionables and then they think they’ll just completely evade all accountability for their devastating little escapade with a wacky little welcome home serenade. Yeah, well… it is a pretty nice little tune…
Welcome Home Frank
Good to see you man – I hope you understand – Things was rough when you was gone – The bears misplaced all your under-wears – and the turtles have torn up the lawn – Don’t be mad Frank they’re gonna – Find your under-pants – They’re gonna – Fix up all the grass – They’re gonna – Find your underpants – Fix up all the grass – Welcome home Frank – Welcome home – There’s no under-pants in the place – And the lawn is ruined – Still welcome home Frank – Welcome home – ‘Least the turtles and bears and I aren’t gone – And you’ve been gone so very long – Good to see you man – You know we missed you and – Things be better now you’re home – We can plant some grass – And make you some new under-pants – But first we gotta teach the bears how to sew – Don’t be mad Frank they’re gonna – Make you under-pants – Fix up all the grass – Welcome home Frank – Welcome home – There’s no under-pants in the place
– And the lawn is ruined – Still welcome home Frank – Welcome home –
‘Least the turtles and bears and I aren’t gone
Todd McHatton 
Groovy. I think this story would make a good book.